Delicious

I bought some strawberries yesterday. They're in season so they are to be had on the cheap and v. fresh. I am currently enjoying a bowl of them right now and they are one of the most delicious things evar. That is all.

Mechanics, Douchebags

It seems a given anymore that if you need work done on your car that you're totally going to get raped in the wallet. Some of these mechanics act like they're the keepers of a secret and powerful knowledge, and you, quite frankly, are insignificant for not knowing it. They treat you as if there is no possible way you could know or comprehend anything about the functioning of your vehicle. Admitedly, there are plenty of people who, when being confronted with the intricacies of auto-mechanica, might as well be hearing a complex geometric proof being explained in French after first being translated from Japanese from Swahili from Farsi. And while there may be some decently wholesome mechanics trundling about the multi-verse I have yet to see much proof of this.

You know, I thought I was doing well with the guys at the local Tireman. I went there for my oil changes, and had had them do some repair work on my car. I needed a new water pump and some hoses. When I had to go back a couple times because there still was some leaking around the hoses the guy was really nice. Even though I was irritated that they hadn't caught the problem before this guy made me feel better about the situation. He said they would keep working until they fixed it, and didn't charge me anything either time I had to go back. He also didn't treat me like an idiot, which I find to be a common problem when dealing with mechanics. They act like having boobs (the girl kind, not the man-boob kind) means your completely incapable of telling the difference between an alternator and an air filter, or being able to understand the basic functioning of the coolant system.

Things had been better at Tireman, at least when this one manager was there. I was even okay when they told me I needed a new cap on the coolant reservoir because the threads were stripped. I hadn't noticed it, but I had been opening it a lot before I got the new water pump because I had to refill the coolant anytime I wanted to drive more than five miles, so I thought it entirely possible.

However, things have gone down hill. Not the last time I went in for an oil change, but a time before that, I asked about my oil light coming on. It occasionally does this when I come to a stop after I've been driving for a while. Concerned, I checked the oil in the car repeatedly, but it was fine. When I asked the guys to let me know if there was some sort of leak or lack of oil pressure and explained about the light coming on the guy looked at me like I was mental and totally asking too much out of him. I asked about it again when I picked up my car, and they treated me like I was a retard who didn't know her place. They told me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with it in a total "duh" tone.

Inquiries with "the Google" have lead me to believe that there is simply a glitch somewhere amidst the wiring. Then, the last time I went in they called me at work, as opposed to on my cell number which I explicitly told them to use, hollering about some oil leak that might be there and they'd have to do a whole expensive test of the system, some other thing, and suddenly my oil dipstick was mysteriously broken. They wanted 35 dollars to replace the dipstick and cap. I was highly irritated, and told them just to finish the damn oil change and not to touch anything else. That was a while ago, and today I finally got around to looking up a new dipstick online. Guess how much it cost me. Eleven bucks. Even with shipping it's still less than the wrenchslingers wanted. Jerks.

I'm Back

Finally, my managerial training has ended. Today was my first day back. I can't even describe how much better it is to be back. Perhaps this exchange best sums up why I enjoy it so much:

Me: * explaining responsibilities to an employee* This is going to be your primary focus today, this is your secondary, and this is your tertiary responsibility.
Rob: Hey! You just said 'tertiary'.
Me: Yeah, I even used it in a sentence.
Rob: I know. Awesome!

Also on the awesome list would be the three to five minute commute as opposed to the 35-45 minute commute. Everything is where I feel it's supposed to be. I get to go back to doing things the way I'm used to. I'm now actually a part of the management team as opposed to 'the training manager'. I get to talk to my coworkers whom I haven't seen in a month. Hey, it's good to be back.

DIY Worst Sellers List

102 One Hour Home Surgeries

Backyard Coal Mining for Beginners

DIY Liposuction

The Mud and Filth Diet

Poverty: Squandering Your Life Savings in Spite of Your Spouse's Best Efforts

Procreation for One

Shrinking Your Package for Complete and Utter...Why the Hell Are You Still Reading This? Why Are You Picking Up This Book?!? What's Wrong With You? Freak. Seriously, Put It Down. Droooop it! Baaaad Consumer, Go To Your Room.

Infectious Diseases, Collect Them All!

So You Want to be a Whale Proctologist

The Morons' Guide to Mime

Dr. Douchepipe's Douchebaggery Manual

The Racists' Guide to Advanced Bigotry

Immortality Through Immolation

You Can Staple Gun Your Way to True Love!

International Diplomacy for Imbeciles

"Where Her Baby Daddy At?" - 16 Steps to Becoming White Trash

Eat Your Weight in Bibles! For Profit!

I can see! It's a miracle!

I finally went to the eye doctor today. First, my appointment started a half hour late. I wasn't happy about that, but finally we got started. The doctor (optician/optometrist/whatever) was pretty cool, but I have to say that I find eye exams vexing. They're doing all these tests and making notes, and machines are printing out little bits of tape, but no one tells me anything.

Then, as we're playing the "number one or number two?" game, the doc says "wow" in a sort of matter of fact tone. When he finishes up flipping the little lenses around he shows me what my old prescription was versus what I now need. I was not surprised by the difference. I knew that I was badly in need of a new prescription, that's why I was there. Then he tells me, "You've picked up a truckload of astigmatism since the last time you were here." I've never had them mention any astigmatism to me before, I've never had a problem with it. This does explain why I was having trouble seeing everything, near, far, you name it. So I say, "Oh, crap." And the doc says "Double crap." You know what? I that guy is alright. I appreciate his candor and not trying to bullshit me, which is what I always get from doctors.

The doc tells me that my contacts are going to go up from about $17 a box to $29 because I need astigmatism contacts, which is not too bad. Then he goes to get me a trial pair, and they don't even have one strong enough at the power I need for my left eye (which is always been the worst of the two). He gave me one that's the next step down, and it's pretty damn good anyway. I have to go in for a follow up after my full strength trial pair come in because my prescription changed so much. I'll order new glasses then since my old ones are from about four prescriptions ago. I'll probably throw some pictures up on flickr when I get them too.

I'm wearing my new contacts now, they've given me a bit of a headache and felt really weird at first. Everything is so crisp and clear though, it was kind of freaking me out. You go from everything being a bit fuzzy for so long and then have everything sharp and crystal and it can kind of overwhelm you. Or make you feel a little crazy what with the instantaneous improved vision. You look out at trees and grass and can see the individual leaves and blades as opposed to just green. At first if I moved my eyes too quickly I couldn't focus and would get dizzy, but I'm getting used to it. It's nice to be able to read or play video games or drive without having to squint at everything.

I must tell you this

One of our new people was training today. I walked into this:

"English" Girl: ...of course, a couple is four to me because I'm pretty much an English person. Well, as close as I can get.

Okaaaaay, as far as I was aware a 'couple' is two. A couple pears is two pears. A couple as it refers to people is two people. Otherwise you're getting into alternative relationships. [Of course, at the hick highschool I was forced to go to, a 'couple' meant anything from one to five.] None of the English people I know have ever mentioned this to me, so I'm going to assume it's crap.

And for the record, she doesn't have an accent. Of course, that does not disqualify her. Occasionally she might have a strange inflection on a word here or there, but it's not consistent in which words or what type. [Also, all of this is verbatim.]

And, how can you be "pretty much English"? Quoi?

Later, I walk by again and this new girl is talking to the ditsy 17-year-old highschool senior with the 16-year-old sophmore boyfriend who is "her baby daddy".

Ditsy Girl: Yeah, I seem to spend all my time working, sleeping, or at school.
"English" Girl: Oh, I just seem to sleep, eat, and drink tea.
Ditsy Girl: Huh?
"English" Girl: English.

Alright, at this point I decided I had to investigate further.

Me: So, you're English then?
"English" Girl: Yeah, can't you tell by the way I talk.
Me: Um, no. If I had to say anything, I'd say you have more of a Southern voice.
"English" Girl: *huffs*
Me: Were you born in England then?
"English" Girl: *in a 'duh' voice* No.

Wtf? Now I'm confused. The girl doesn't have an accent. She wasn't born there, so what's her claim on being English? I'm not going to entirely discount that she was raised in England, but... Is she just saying because she thinks it's 'cool'?

Later, when I have a chance, I broach the subject again.

Me: I give. You're English, but weren't born there?
"English" Girl: *coming back from the orion nebula* What?
Me: You told me that you were English, but that you weren't born in England. How's that then?
"English" Girl: Parents.
Me: Your parents are English?
"English" Girl: Yeah, it carries on.
Me: *blink, blink*
"English" Girl: You might not be able to tell from my accent beause I do a lot of dialects. It's from my acting, I do a lot of acting. I used to want to be a mortician, but I returned to acting because it's my first love.

...Holy crap, dudes.

Shooting Star

*On my way to work the other day I saw a meteorite. I was driving and I saw it drop down into my field of vision from the top of my windshield. Even over the the music playing I could hear the whistling/wooshing sound it was making. Just before the tree line there was a thump as it disintegrated into glowing dust. It was pretty cool.

*Last week I earned some brownie points with my bosses. We received a package from a company that we'd never heard of, and don't do busines with. The box had a dozen loose, tiny rolls of receipt tape in it, and nothing else. The next day someone called asking who took care of our bills and the head manager gave them the central office number and fax number. The office called not long after saying they had received an invoice for over one hundred and twenty dollars from the company that sent us the package. The head manager called the company and fought her way through the voice mail system and finally got a person on the line and had an argument with them. They claimed we had ordered this stuff back in February. Deciding this sounded more and more like a scam I hopped on the computer and cruised over to the Better Business Bureau website and looked them up. Sure enough, they've had plenty of complaints for the same sort of thing. They call places up, confirm an address, then send out a random package, and then an invoice. They play on the fact that many large companies will pay the small bill without question. I printed up all the info they had on the company and how to deal with the scammers and passed it on to my bosses. Go me.

*Yesterday was the first time I had to run the whole show at work by myself. Everything went very smoothly. All my employees showed up, I did all my paperwork correctly, handled phone calls from my boss and the company owner ("you sound so professional and polite!" she said when I answered the phone, I think she might be easily amused) with no problems. Yay, go me

*Last Saturday I went to my cousin's wedding up in Michigan. When my mother arrived at the wedding I immediately recognized the dress she was wearing because it was the same red dress I had tried on the weekend before whilst shopping for something to wear to the wedding. The same red dress I thought a bit too flashy for the wedding. Holy crap. The wedding was at 2pm and the reception at 6pm, so we hung out at my aunt and uncle's house inbetween. We had snacks and a couple beers. Then we headed to the reception (open bar, v. nice). It was a good time, inspite of the fact that my cousin and her now husband are into country music and there was a lot of that. I'm not a fan of country music myself, but I will suffer through for my cousin, it's her day after all.. I got to hang out and talk with the family. I had to spend those eight hours in the presence of my mother and her husband though. I solved this problem by monopolizing the conversation. They think I'm witty, hilarious, and full of all sorts of interesting informaton. The feeling is not mutual. But I had a good time, and my cousin looked beautiful in her wedding dress, and her husband is a great guy, and it was all good.

Scrubbing

Today I got caught up on some housework. It had been suffering since I've pretty much been working and sleeping and kind of staring off in a daze when I'm not doing either of those. I had a crap-ton of laundry to do, and the dishes were quite scary. Really scary. So there was a reckoning and now the kitchen is clean. Very clean.

Then as I was trying to rinse out my utensil tray I turned on the tap and there was no water. Already being in a state of pissed-offness I grabbed my electric bill and called the after hours number listed. The phone was answered by a woman at the police station. I apologized and said I was trying to get a hold of the municipal utilities office because there was no water. "Well, we answer emergency calls after hours," she told me. Then she asked me if the whole building didn't have water (nobody was here today so I couldn't say, the place was unusually quiet) or if I had called my landlord "because they could be doing maintenance. Call them and then call us back if there's still a problem." It's freaking Sunday and after 6pm, we've established last weekend that after 6 on Sunday is as after hours as it gets. Admittedly, I should have called the landlord first, but I was pissed. Also, there was nobody here! There was nobody doing maintenance in the building. And I've tried to call the landlord after hours before and that's a big waste of time. "If there's a problem we'll have to call somebody in from home from the municipal utilities department," she tells me. Unfuckbelieveable. The city apparently has nobody on staff on the weekends, and all I have is some unhelpful phone wench. Gods forbid we have to call somebody in from home. I'd hate to inconvenience somebody to do their job in keeping the rest of us supplied with water.

I was so mad when I hung up. I didn't bother calling the landlord. I was too angry to put together anything cohesive at the moment. I went down to the laundry to throw my last load in the dryer. The washer seemed to have finished fine. I turned on the tap in the wash tub and water came out. I went back upstairs and turned on the taps in my apartment. There was air for a moment and then water sputter out. Problem solved. I don't know what happened. Air in the line or something I guess. Nice to know who not to boehter counting on.

Whirlwind

Happy May Day. I was thinking this morning that May really kicks off the summer, even if it isn't technically summer yet. And I thought to myself, hey, May starts up the tornado season, and that means summer to my mind. Eerily enough, we've been having a little bit of tornadic action this afternoon. As we speak we've had two official warnings (still under one actually), and the sirens have gone off three times. I went down this last time to try and get a look, because the radar showed the edge of the storm passing over us. Of course, people being people, others had the same idea, and a guy informed me that a funnel cloud had been spotted over town. I'm looking at the sky, and I'm not seeing a funnel cloud (I am a certified Skywarn spotter, so I know what to look for), but I'm guessing that we were looking at the wall cloud. I snapped a couple of pictures of the gnarliness.

Also, I have to admit that my eyesight is not super fantastic right now. I've needed new a new prescription since December-ish, but didn't have the funds and now hardly have the time. Which is odd considering how important your sight is. Brian Regan says it best, "How can instantly improved vision not be at the top of your To Do list? Should I go get contacts today? Nah, I got a sock drawer to sort!"

Ok, Tornado sirens round four, the excitement continues! Back in a bit.

....

Back again. More storms rolled through, "it was all sound and fury signifying nothing". Still the occasional bit of thunder, hour and a half later, even though most everything seems to have gone past.

:::::Other news, I had a voice mail from the District Manager last night letting me know that my vacation request had been approved. My last promotion gave me two weeks after a working it for a year. So for 2007 I had two weeks, but wasn't eligible for them until about mid-December. Meaning that I'd have to take them both together during the last half of December. Not entirely a bad thing, I know. I decided to take a week off in October (paid or not) when Julia and I are going to hang out with Mark when he visits our hemisphere. It's only two months before I'm eligible for my vacation, so I was hoping they wouldn't be a bunch of asshats about it. Happily, I got approval, so the week of October 15th I'll be getting paid to do a whole bunch of awesome non-work stuff.

:::::Also, the other day I created a character and submitted it to the Make Your Own Venture Brothers Villain Contest . I didn't find out about it until about two days before the deadline. I whipped a character up in a couple hours Sunday night, just before deadline. The moderator really liked my character, and I won second place in the first round. I'm not sure what that means, or what the grand prize is since nothing about 'round 2' has been posted yet.

:::::Warning, Shopping ahead: Julia and I went shopping Sunday. I was hoping to find something to wear to my cousin's wedding this Saturday. We went to a couple shops, Fashion Bug was a bust the first time, although I did get a top when we walked back over. We also went to a place called Dress Barn. The first time I went there, years ago, they only had old-lady dresses and shapeless caftan looking things. Their stock has much improved, they had some pretty cute stuff. Of course, the dress in the window we thought was really cute was the only one they had of it and not in my size. I probably tried on a dozen dresses, and didn't get any of them. There were a couple I really liked, but nothing felt right.

There was a red dress (a little too flashy). A black dress (not really good for a wedding), I still want to go back and get it, but it is eighty dollars and I don't have a reason for getting it. I really liked it though, and so rarely do I try on something and think "this is awesome, I must have this". Ok, that never happens. I tried on a black skirt and white top w/embroidery. The top came with a jacket that must have weighed five pounds! The white jacket made me feel like James Bond, if James Bond were female, and American, and...never mind, you get the idea.

We even used my camera to take pictures for comparison so that I wouldn't have to keep trying things back on. I read the idea in a magazine, and it's a super good one if you have a bunch of stuff to try on, or a bunch of different shops to visit.
We also learned that a lot of shops close up early (6pm) on Sunday. Wtf? This was highly irritating. Why does everything shut down early on Sunday evening? I mean, church is in the moring, so.....then we wandered over to Target (which was actually still open) and tried on some more clothes. I picked up a nice navy wrap dress, so between that and the new shirt I bought I guess I'll figure something out for Saturday.