Happenings

I did a little "out of debt" celebratory shopping yesterday with my bonus money. I ended up buying two dresses. They're both print dresses. Usually I wear solids, preferably neutrals paired with more neutrals, so they're a bit out of my comfort zone, but supremely awesome. And they were on sale so it was only $50 for both. I also shopped for a bathing suit, a process that usually destroys any body confidence I might have scraped together in the last year. However, I found one I liked, and together with the weight loss I've achieved so far I felt that I could go out in public in it without shame. The ultimate test for a swimsuit.

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Saturday I went to a graduation party for my step-cousin (my aunt's step-son). Instead of the usual grad party hotdogs & hamburgers my aunt had a taco bar, rice & beans, and nachos. Best grad party food ever. Also, I got to do some pre-Father's day bonding with my dad, drinking beer, blowing stuff up. Well, actually my brother and dad did most of the firework lighting, but it's the thought that counts.

Then one of my family members finally broke the bubble and asked me the "when are you going to get a man and married?" question. I almost made it to 27 without someone asking it. And it wasn't anyone you would expect. Not my mom, or my grandma, or a catty aunt. It was my Uncle K. Which made it even weirder. I could've understood if it was his wife, she's definitely catty. "It's been a long time since we've had a wedding," he said. My family is so weird.

What have you done this week?

Amongst other things, I made these.

What are they? They're self-watering containers for my plants. Obviously I still have to add the dirt and the plants.

It would have cost at least 40 bucks to buy one of these. I made 'em for about $7 a piece by using instructions from the interwebs and recycling some materials.

They will be way more impressive when I'm showing you the pumpkins and watermelons that I will, hopefully, have in a couple months.

I'm pretty much like Martha Stuart meets MacGyver.

This is just a series of things that are pissing me off - 1.

Look, I'm not trying to sound ungrateful towards the advice givers of the world, but there is a certain brand of unsolicited advice that I find irritating. I'm talking about the unsolicited soliloquy dumped in the middle of a light conversation, in this case one being held at work. It's great that you know things, lots of things apparently, but if you're going to give a lecture maybe you should have given me a heads up first so I could have grabbed a pen & paper to take notes. There is no way I'm going to remember all this crap in five minutes. And by the way, you're monopolizing the conversation. Conversation is like badminton, if the shuttlecock, or birdie, isn't going back and forth once in a while then we're not playing fucking badminton are we? We're just standing in the yard wondering when lunch will be.

For example, if I say, "I'm thinking about getting a pet zombie." There are numerous standard responses that we can all agree on to be appropriate:

"That's cool."
"We had a pet zombie when I was a kid. It was awesome."
"I know a guy who raises zombies. Let me give you his card."
"Not me, I've had zombiphobia since I was a kid, and watched that one movie with the town that had the rabid zombie population. For me they're worse than clowns."
"I don't recommend it. Zombies smell/they only eat brains and have you seen the price of brains lately?/the gnaw on everything/I think it's inhumane to keep them locked up/whatever reason."

All of these allow us to continue down the merry path of the convo. Here's what is not an okay response:

"Zombies? My third cousin, Rachel, did her master's thesis on the impact of zombie farming with regard to imports and exports in the near Far East during the pre-classical post-revival Gobbledeegook period. She and her husband made a small but crucial contribution to Martin J. Belowme's History of the American Zombie: A Guide to Breeds and a History of Breeders in the Classical Period. I think it's out of print, but you should talk to my husband he knows this one site where you can get books that are out of print, and make money from home. That's what he does, makes money from home, and it's not a scam like some of those scams out there that say you can make money from home, but you can't they just take your money and then you're out all that money, and you can never track them down, and the Better Business Bureau will just say, "tough luck, we can't do anything" which is what happened to my aunt Sally that one time. Anyway, my third cousin, or is she third once removed? Dunno. Anyway, she submitted several articles to Zomb Weekly over the last four and three-quarters years. You can read them, along with others, at her website http://rachelsmith.zombies.wtf/12345/gobbledeegook-blargledeeblarg/nearwesternfareast/6789/pre-classical/articles/\-_++#$5&*!/stfu/zombie-lovin-farmers-of-america/omfgareyouwritingthisdown?=shutup!shutup!shutup!.html. You really should check it out."

Okay, if you can't tell by my mildly poleaxed expression at this point, I am no longer listening to what you're saying. I'm looking for an escape route.

Busy, busy, busy

I feel that I have been somewhat productive lately. I've reapplied myself to bringing my comic to life. I made a (rather feeble/lazy) attempt at bringing it to the web a while back, but over time it got shuffled to the back burner. Well, I've been thinking a lot about it lately. I've been making some tough decisions about which of my hobbies/interests I am going to continue to pursue and which ones I simply don't have time for. I've put the comic at the top of the list because, well, A. I enjoy it B. I've put a lot of work/thought into it C. It's the thing I've done the most with. I've got a lot of ideas for it, so many in fact that I write them in a notebook, which I then listed in a spreadsheet. However, they're in no order, and the strips I've already drawn are also in no particular order. I would just draw them as I thought of them, jumping to new story lines, not introducing characters, no chronology, etc. I decided I needed to organize all my ideas, fill in the holes and make it all flow properly. I needed to create a storyboard.

Each of the 833 index cards on my coffee table represents at least one strip.

Some of the cards just have an idea/notes that could lead to a whole series of strips, and that's not counting the stuff I have in my head or the filler for the holes. As I was sitting there filling out the cards I was struck by how many there were. Somehow, seeing it all laid out made me realize it in a way I couldn't before. It made me feel prolific, in a small, modest way.

It's not a storyboard yet, but they're all written down and sorted by relevant character or plot line. I'm probably going have to take over the entire floor to get them all laid out in order.

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Speaking of floor space, I've slowly been rearranging my apartment since my roommate migrated to Cleveland last month.
Here are a couple pictures of my rearranged living room. So much space! It feels so luxurious to have all this space to myself. And a bedroom that is just a bedroom instead of a bedroom/office/studio/whatever. Also, I've come to realize that I am quite lazy about hanging paintings and pictures.

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Another project I've been busy with is my garden. I use the word loosely as I don't actually have anything planted in the ground. I'm trying my hand at growing a container garden on my patio. I have tomatoes, peppers, and cucumbers planted in pots and doing nicely so far *fingers crossed*. I also have a crapload of marigolds and geraniums along with a few oregano, peppermint and lavender plants. All of the plants are from seed I started indoors. Not all of them have migrated to the patio, some will probably stay inside. I'm also taking a crack at growing pumpkins. Crazy you say? It can and has been done. I did the research, thanks google. I've got a big enough container 18 gal, and I'm going to rig up a self watering system. Then as it grows the vines will have to be trained to wrap around the container so it doesn't take over. What I should end up with is something that looks like a shrub. Anyway, I figured why not? Go big or go home. I'm not expecting monster, prize winning pumpkins, but I'm hopeful for some decent jack-o-lanterns. I will post pictures as the garden progresses.

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I have to watch my spending for the next week and a half until I get paid again as my bank account is a bit on the low side. The upside of this is that it is only low because I made a big payment on my credit card and I am now officially, completely 100% out of debt. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I took out a personal loan last year to consolidate my credit card debt, but because of my credit they wouldn't give me enough to cover everything (seriously another thousand was going to be too much?). I'm not some crazy shopaholic, I just went through some bad financial times and relied too heavily on plastic. However, it's all gone now. It still hasn't sunk in.

Now I'm looking to save up for a down payment on a new car. Seriously, my car is great if you are ambivalent about reaching your destination. Also, I'd like to save up for a epic vacation. I have a week of vacation coming up in August, but that's going to be a laid back affair. Maybe some camping and/or a trip to the lake (still waiting to hear back on that), general relaxing, and I'd like to get a tattoo for my birthday. Still trying to decide what to get for the last one.

I've also thought back about cutting back on my hours at work now that I'm debt free. Going from 50 hrs a week to 40 is very tempting, even though it means a pay cut, but with higher rent (living by myself), and big things to save up for I'm not sure I want to take the pay cut. However, extra time not spent at work that could be spent, oh say, on the comic strip would be super awesome.

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Well, long post, but now you know what I've been up to. Catch ya on the flip side.

Cerebration

It's May already. 2009 is nearly half gone. Where does the time go? What do we have to show for it?
I keep puttering around and nothing gets done. The status quo is maintained, but little new growth is had. I want to produce. The ideas are there. The skill is there. How to take them and bring them forth into the light?
Too many distractions. Too many excuses. If you keep waiting for the right time you'll spend your whole life waiting.
Basically I need to get my ass in gear. I have to motivate myself to put in the work that is required to reach my goals. No one is going to give me a pep talk. No one else is going to help out. It's just me vs. the world, and the world had better look out.

Long time no see, eh? I've been busy, but aren't we all? I like lists, so (in no particular order) are the things that have happened or are going on right now:

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I have the beginnings of a cold. Just a tickle in the throat, but I'm not really in the mood for a cold (not that I ever would be), so Eff that noise. I am trying to kill it with some of those preemptive strike medicines. I haven't tried them before, so we'll see if it works.

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I got totally screamed at, cussed out by a customer on the phone the other day. We're talking completely bat shit irrational hostilities, even though I was not personally responsible for the thing she was mad about. The conversation ended with the woman hanging up on me. Anytime I take a customer complaint call I apply my most polite and professional phone voice (I have others), I don't let people get me riled, I don't let them transfer their anger to me. Let's face it, a lot of times the people aren't really mad because we messed up. Their mad at other crap in their life: their dog shit on the floor, their wife's banging some other dude, their kids are demon spawn, their boss is a douche, whatever, but they can't take out their frustrations on any of those people, so who gets it? The first sucker in the service industry who flies into their cross hairs. You don't have to feel bad about taking a big, sweary frustration shit on a complete stranger, right?
Well, I won't let them do it to me. Here's my secret for dealing with them: deep down, I don't care. Sure, yeah, it sucks we messed up. I get that, I'd be (maybe) slightly irritated too, but honestly, I Do. Not. Care. I will follow standard operating procedure to take care of the problem, but you can't make me care and you can't make me angry.
Well, usually. This was hands down the nastiest call I've ever taken. I actually felt upset after. That made me feel worse, that I had let that bitch get to me. I had to go to the walk-in freezer and take some deep breaths because I was as close to crying as I have been in a long time and ever at work. Instead, I calmed down and then went to the office and wrote a very professional, eloquent, composed report to my bosses describing the incident. Apparently I judged my mark well on the tone because they were able to infer how very angry I was with my having to say so.

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There is a drunk guy sitting in the hallway of my apartment building talking loudly on the phone to his, I presume, girlfriend at 3am. Not as entertaining as the guy wandering around my block one night around 5am or so talking on his cell just below the threshold of yelling last weekend. He had no idea where he was and had been wandering around town for four hours after having apparently been ditched by his friend(s). He kept declaring his intent to beat the shit out of them when he got back, sleeping or no. Sounds horrible to tell, hilarious to listen to.

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I had to listen to the most appalling twaddle at work yesterday morning on top of only having had an hour of sleep. The conversation was a brainstabbingly ignorant discourse on things political and socio-economical. Warning: it is very "If it weren't for my horse..." I have included a few thoughts in ( ). It ran thus:


The pres. is the devil, excuse me, anti-christ. We know this because of three facts:

• he is the president
• he is trying to unite everyone
• he has two birth certificates

Speaking of birth certificates, if Bob* here was running for president he would show his to everyone, call the media, and there would be no problems instead of just showing to a judge like Obama did and then sealed it away in the Temple of Doom so no one can find it, or something.
(No, no, no. You wouldn't. It is one of your most important personal documents. You don't show it to anybody, especially if you're famous. See there are these things called identity thieves...oh never mind)

Republicans are the best because they are all about you keeping your money.**
(No, they are about them keeping their money. They'd love your money. Gods help us if they figure out a way to invent money magnets.)
Everybody else wants to spend your money. On things. Buffy* is very against this. She does not think her money should pay for other people's health care, and parks, and some other third thing which I think I blacked out during.
(That's right, parks are the devil.)

You know what Buffy really, really would like and would be like, super totally awesome? Free health care.
(I hate you.)
Bob says that in countries that have free health care it is all shitty and you have to wait weeks to see a doctor. This is the gospel of Bob. And some of them are starting to decide that if you are a smoker and have lung problems they won't cover it. Won't cover it! Ludicrous we say! We're better off without!
(Or would if they knew what ludicrous meant.)

Buffy absolutely will not drive a car. "I'm not driving no cars, I've got kids," she declared. She will, however, drive SUV's and trucks, has a driveway full of them if you care to look. All non-SUVs and truck-like vehicles are by this logic death traps that everyone is obviously too stupid to notice.
(Riiiiight.)

The Gospel of Bob also informs us that Congress, dirty, dirty vegans all, is taking cow farmers and all cows to court for Crimes Against Humanity and the Environment. The congressional vegans are going to do away with cows. Cows kill the Environment. The vegans are going to make us all eat salads! We cannot live with out meat!
(This is going to lead to me having an aneurysm.)

*Names changed to protect the stupid.
**I am not making this up, any of it. (Weeps)***
***Okay, I did add in the Temple of Doom bit.

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Good news: in my travels on the highway to health I have now lost 25 pounds. Not bad for 3 months of work. It's always exciting to have clothes unexpectedly fit. I'm very happy about it, in spite of my mother's attempt to take a big slimy shit on my self esteem parade. 25 is a nice big, psychologically satisfying number. Onward, I say.

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And lastly, for tonight anyways, I am attempting to grow a mini-garden on my patio. Right now everything is in the seedlings-in-trays stage, but soon my patio will be covered with pots of tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, and flowers. I did quite a bit of interweb research on container gardening, but other than that it's going to be trial and error. My biggest concern is pests. No, not aphids and the like, but idiotus inebriatedi.

Now it's personal

Damn you Bush Administration. The recession that your crappy policies (arguably) spawned have finally hit home. Though not stated in the letter I received, I assume that financial reasons are to blame for one of my monthly magazines no longer being published. That sounds shallow, but honestly I think that I'm poor enough that most of what is going on hasn't affected me. In fact our store has been making a profit and we earned bonus for February. I say don't count your bonus before it's paid, so I was quite happy to find that my last paycheck was about $200 more than usual. Woo! To bad it's all going to bills.

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I would say I had a good weekend, but first of all I only had Sunday off. Sunday was good though. I had lunch with my dad's family which was entertaining as usual, my father and his siblings engaged in their good natured antagonizing. My Aunt N has started her own dog walking/sitting business. My Uncle K's wife apparently thinks being barefoot is disgusting. Recipes were argued over. My father passed out various goodies from his work. (They build machines and robots for other companies and get test product to run on the machines to ensure they work properly. After the tests are over they usually get to keep the product. Couple years ago we got cases of peppridge farm cookies. This time it was tea, country time lemonade mix, and Betty Crocker instant potatoes. Hooray for free stuff!)

As soon as I got home from my grandparent's I had to turn around and head over to my mom's for dinner. I didn't end up wanting to punch anyone in the face, so that was a good visit. My mom couldn't wait to tell me that my loser alcoholic uncle apparently has added 'crack addict' to his resume, oh fun.

Oh, and Friday night I broke a toe. Technically, of course, I can't say that it's broken because I didn't go to a doctor and get it x-rayed, but I think swollen+black&blue+pain+can't bend it+still hurts days later=broken. Besides it's a toe! A toe! Even if you go to a doctor and they x-ray it and the doctor comes in and says, "Durrr, yur toe iz broke" they can't do anything about it. They'll tape it (can do that myself) and maybe give you some fun drugs (don't want 'em). Unless it's the big toe, and is, like, turned the wrong way, or bones sticking out, fuck going to the doctor for it. And mine is the little toe, so I feel like a big baby, but standing for all those 10 hr shifts don't help.

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I'm pretty sure that my laptop has acquired some spyware and/or virus type thing. Good job McAfee, way to protect me from that shit. What do I even pay you for? Now I'm deleting files hoping I don't accidentally lobotomize my computer. I'm tempted (probably going) to just transfer all my important files to my new computer and then give the laptop a memory wipe. Fun times all around.