Welcome to the Event Horizon

Event Horizon - n. the boundary around a black hole on and within which no matter can escape.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

13 Days to go

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Nothing is packed! Nothing is clean!

It's not going to be okay!

....

Okay, I feel better now.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Ummm...hello?

I should be on my way to work right now. Instead I'm sitting here blogging because I am locked inside my apartment. That's right, I am trapped in my own apartment. Maintenance is on their way over because the deadbolt lock on my front door is broken. Apparently it locked just fine when my roommate left for work, but I keep twisting the little knobby thingy and IT WON'T WORK! I live on the third floor, so the window's not an option. My tool box is in the trunk of my car, but even if I could get the lock taken apart and leave, I'm not sure I could get the door locked again. This is BG (aka kleptomania) there is no way I'm going to work for ten hours and leaving my apartment unlocked.

At least my boss thinks it's funny.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Tales from Work

I don't normally talk much about my job. I'm not sure exactly why not, I mean, I get plenty material. I guess at the end of the day I just feel like not having to think about work for a few hours. However, I had an incident tonight that was just too good to pass up. For those of you who haven't been taking notes at home, I am a manager at a quick service restaurant. We have a drive-thru. It can be every bit as horrible as you might imagine, and in order to to keep our labor costs in line the manager ends up having to run the drive-thru most nights. Oh, goody.

So, I was taking an order tonight. It was a larger order and at the speaker as the woman was relaying it to me I heard a man in the car crabbing things at her/me. When they pulled up to the window I was greeted by a rotund woman with two vacant eyed children and a greasy, creepy white trash guy. As I was taking care of their order the guy kept crabbing more demands at me from the passenger seat. Finally, I passed them the last item of their order, an ice cream, and as the woman took it I noticed an extra sliver of plastic on the cup. When the car did not pull away I opened the window and they told me that there was a hair in (or she might have said "on") the cup. I apologized and remade the ice cream. I thought they would leave after that, but no, the creepy crabby guy wanted to talk to me. I opened the window again and leaned forward to see what the guy wanted, and had one of the most creepy conversations ever.

Scary McCreepo leaned forward and asked in his hick accent, "Hey, since we had to deal with the hair could I get, er, a free ice cream for my retarded daughter?" And he made a gesture towards the one of the kids in the back seat.

[Okay, obviously the "hair" was a ploy to get free stuff. Happens all the time, but "retarded daughter"? Is it more horrible if the girl in question is actually retarded or not?]

In spite of my astonishment I kept neutral and replied "No, I'm sorry. I can't do that. I replaced the item that there was a problem with, but I can't give out free food." I hoped that would be the end of the conversation, but Skeezy Von Creepinmeister had more.

Then he says, "Hey, er, can I ask you something? Are you married?"

Naturally, I answered, "What?!?" I was thinking perhaps I had heard him wrong.

"Are you married?" he asked again. Nope, heard it right the first time. Sound the alarms, it is time to abandon this conversation. Run! Run! Head for the hills!

"That is my own personal business," I replied calmly and shut the window.

As I did though, I heard him say something like "Mine is too" or "It's mine too".

Then I locked the window.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Weirdness and Sickness

*Cough, cough* How's it going? Me, I've been sick for almost three weeks now. I've slowly progressed through all the cold symptoms in various combinations. And at no point have I been very sick, just moderately to lightly sick. All I've got left now is a bit of a cough. It's been going on so long that it's making me crazy. Crazy, I tell you!

Well, in truth it's wearing me down. I'm tired mentally, physically, and emotionally. I bottomed out early this week, moping around and being down in general. I was trying to do some packing and I just kept looking around at everything that needed to be done and I felt...overwhelmed. I'm not used to being overwhelmed by things. I usually am at my best in a crisis. Give me cruch time, give me deadlines, give me "I waited until the last minute and it's due tomorrow!" I can multitask a half dozen things easy. Howevere, my normal awesomeness was not to be found that day. Blah, talk about a downer.

I'm feeling better this weekend though. I'll be so glad to be moved in a month. Some of my neighbors are precipitating weird shit. When I came home today there was a hansel and gretel trail of peanuts leading up the stairs, which then ended at my door. Also, my building smells weird, all the time. Oh, and the maintence guys use a room in the basement as their workshop, and they smoke in there. The same tiny room they sand and paint cabinets and other shit in.

In good news, I bought a fantastically comfortable pair of sandals to replace the ones I had that wore out several years ago. They wore out after many years of loyal service, and I had yet to find a satisfactory replacement. I found the new pair at Target the other day. They were sitting on a shelf at eye level, in the middle of some completely different shoes, were the only pair of that kind I saw, and they were my size. It was like it was meant to be.