I must tell you this

One of our new people was training today. I walked into this:

"English" Girl: ...of course, a couple is four to me because I'm pretty much an English person. Well, as close as I can get.

Okaaaaay, as far as I was aware a 'couple' is two. A couple pears is two pears. A couple as it refers to people is two people. Otherwise you're getting into alternative relationships. [Of course, at the hick highschool I was forced to go to, a 'couple' meant anything from one to five.] None of the English people I know have ever mentioned this to me, so I'm going to assume it's crap.

And for the record, she doesn't have an accent. Of course, that does not disqualify her. Occasionally she might have a strange inflection on a word here or there, but it's not consistent in which words or what type. [Also, all of this is verbatim.]

And, how can you be "pretty much English"? Quoi?

Later, I walk by again and this new girl is talking to the ditsy 17-year-old highschool senior with the 16-year-old sophmore boyfriend who is "her baby daddy".

Ditsy Girl: Yeah, I seem to spend all my time working, sleeping, or at school.
"English" Girl: Oh, I just seem to sleep, eat, and drink tea.
Ditsy Girl: Huh?
"English" Girl: English.

Alright, at this point I decided I had to investigate further.

Me: So, you're English then?
"English" Girl: Yeah, can't you tell by the way I talk.
Me: Um, no. If I had to say anything, I'd say you have more of a Southern voice.
"English" Girl: *huffs*
Me: Were you born in England then?
"English" Girl: *in a 'duh' voice* No.

Wtf? Now I'm confused. The girl doesn't have an accent. She wasn't born there, so what's her claim on being English? I'm not going to entirely discount that she was raised in England, but... Is she just saying because she thinks it's 'cool'?

Later, when I have a chance, I broach the subject again.

Me: I give. You're English, but weren't born there?
"English" Girl: *coming back from the orion nebula* What?
Me: You told me that you were English, but that you weren't born in England. How's that then?
"English" Girl: Parents.
Me: Your parents are English?
"English" Girl: Yeah, it carries on.
Me: *blink, blink*
"English" Girl: You might not be able to tell from my accent beause I do a lot of dialects. It's from my acting, I do a lot of acting. I used to want to be a mortician, but I returned to acting because it's my first love.

...Holy crap, dudes.