Welcome to the Event Horizon

Event Horizon - n. the boundary around a black hole on and within which no matter can escape.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Nothing to Blog About

Hey how's it going? I'm losing my mind. For my management training I had to go to another location. The employees are driving me crazy. I have no one to talk to. Oh, they talk. All they do is talk, talk, talk, but they never actually say anything. All I've had to listen to for the past week is who's selling crack, so and so's boyfriend's time in jail, reminiscing about parole officers, "we sure had fun with that community service", who's looking to buy crack, where the recent drug raids have been, such and such is such a ho, "my boyfriend's kid went to school and told the class how his mom's boyfriend sells crack", how many other girls this one girl beat up, who's done what drugs, what stupid thing their baby's daddy did, who's a bitch, who's fat, who's a crackhead and so on.

So I'm pretty starved for conversation right now.

I got my first manager paycheck Friday, v. nice. I paid off half of what was left on my car, few more weeks and it's all mine. I was going to go get a new radio for my car. In the year and a half that I've had it I've not had a working radio. But after overhearing the one girl say that the radio was stolen out of her car while it was parked at work, and all things stealing-thing-for-crack-money considered, I think I'll wait. As soon as I'm done with training and go back I'll get one.

Moving on, I have the day off tomorrow and I have some items to tackle on my To Do List. I'm growing some plants form seeds, and they actually sprouted (yay!), so I'll have to put them in pots. Also I have to hunt down something to wear for my cousin's wedding next weekend. I have plenty of dress clothes, but nothing that really feels right for a summer afternoon wedding. Hopefully the shopping gods will smile favorably on me.

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Friday, April 20, 2007

Drunk Dialed!

I was awoken last Sunday morning by the ringing of my phone. It was my day off, and all I knew was that it was way earlier than I wanted to get up. I groped around on the shelf for my phone. Blearily I peered at the display. It informed me that I was getting a call from a very unexpected source. It was the number of the guy who randomly broke off contact from a couple weeks ago. Curious and not entirely awake, I answered the call.

I spent the next fifteen plus minutes talking (ok, more like occasionaly dropping a 'yeah' or 'ok') to a person who was not in fact the NoCallBackGuy. It was quite entertaining. Here's the conversation (And some of what I was thinking as well.), paraphrased because I was only half awake at the time. Leaving out some of the boring repetative bits.

Me: Hello?
The Dude on the Phone: Becky! Becky Ethan! Becky Ethan! Ethan, ethanethanethan.
Me: What? (Why is he calling me Ethan? That's not even close to my last name?)
The Dude: Ethan, dude. What's up man?
Me: Uh, not much. What time is it?
The Dude: It's like, nine. So what are you doing? Sleeping?
Me: Well I was.
The Dude: Hey, that's cool. So, like, we're out of beer now, and almost all the whiskey's gone. We're just waiting until we can go buy more beer.
Me: Ok. (It's finally dawning on me at this point that this isn't actually the NoCallBackGuy, and is actually somebody else)
The Dude: So are you going to come over and hang out with us man?
Me: Sure. (??)
The Dude: Yeah, I can't sleep, so I decided to start calling people on people's phones. ( Lucky me, I guess, that my name is near the beginning of the alphabet.)
Me: Uh-huh
The Dude: *snorting laughter*
Me: Are you high?
The Dude: *giggles* What! I don't know what you're talking about? *giggles* You should come over to the town house man.
Me: Ok. What's the address? (I, of course, had no intention of going anywhere.)
The Dude: It's, like, between the movie theater and the campus. (That's pretty much half of the entire town.)
Me: Uh, which street?
The Dude: I don't know! I just come here every now and then and get drunk! Do you know who I am? Do you know who you're talking to??
Me: Actually I have no idea who this is.
The Dude: It's me! Steve! Steve Martin! (I have no idea who that is.)
Me: 'kay.
The Dude: *to someone else* Hey! We're going to pick up Becky! Hey!(Yeah, like I'd get into the car with this drunk idiot) *to me* Dude, I know you.
Me: I don't think so.
The Dude: You totally came over that one time. You drove your truck over. (I don't have a truck.)
Me: I don't have a truck.
The Dude: Well you did. You got mad at us because we broke your camera. (This never happened)
Me: What?
The Dude: We broke it when we jumped into your pool. (I don't have a pool.)
Me: I don't have a pool.
The Dude: Are you sure this is Becky? Are you really you?
Me: Hmmm, maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm an alien pod person.
The Dude: Huh?
Me: Yes, I'm me.
The Dude: Well...so we're coming to pick you up then. *to somebody else* Hey, A. (the NoCallBackguy) we gotta go pick Becky up! Hey, A! What are you doing in there? *Back to me* A.'s in the bathroom. I think he's pooping. He's taking forever. So we're coming to pick you up. Where do you live.
Me: *I tell him my street, but not my address number*
The Dude: Ok, *yelling away from the phone* Hey A.! We gotta go to [my street]! We're picking Becky up! *Back to me again* Man he sure is taking a long time to poop. So we're coming to [a street two away from mine]. I feel it's always safer to add two streets. (Does this make sense to anyone?)
Me: Mmmm? (I'd felt like dozing off again)
The Dude: Dude, are you asleep?
Me: I was before you called.
The Dude: Well, you're still coming over right?
Me: Sure. (yeah when hell freezes over)
The Dude: Do you want me to call you back later so you can sleep?
Me: Yeah, why don't you call me back in...I don't know, a couple days when you sober up.
The Dude: All right! I'm calling you back in fifteen mintues then. And then...HEY A. WE'RE GOING TO PICK BECKY UP...and then we'll come pick you up. (I wonder if A. is hiding in the bathroom in embarassment)
Me: Ok. (I figure he'll forget about me in less than five minutes)
The dude: Later dude.
Me: Bye.

After hanging up I looked at the time display on my phone. It said 7:54. "It's not even eight o'clock assholes!" I yelled to no one in particular. And then I went back to sleep.

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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Nerdventures

Wow, I actually have stuff to blog about, and I can remember what it is. Um...Woot!

So the events of the Teabag Convention kind of overshadowed the events of Easter weekend. I had both Saturday and Sunday off. Sunday I went to my grandparents' for lunch, but I thought with having those two days off together I might get some extra stuff done before my management training began on Monday (I'm having loads of fun with that, in case you're wondering). Well, when the weekend rolled around I couldn't make up my mind what I wanted to do, so I ended up not really doing anything. I started some cleaning on Saturday, but was distracted.

I was moving things around and came across my coin collection. I pulled that out and sorted the pile of coins I'd set aside over the last few months. With only a couple exceptions all of the coins in my collections are things that I've found. At my various jobs, in change I'm given, on the ground; old coins, coins from all over the world. I don't see the point in buying coins from a dealer, there's no challenge in that. Except the challenge of having enough money. I'm working on grading and pricing some of the stuff, with a couple neat little surprises. You know, like a penny that might be worth as much as $100 because it's an error...Ok, ok, it's nerdy, no one cares, I got it, we'll move along. :)

So after I finished nerding around with my coins I pulled out my genealogy notebook (I'm a person of many hobbies). I spent several hours Saturday and Sunday working on and looking up things and ancestors and what not. My mother even graced me with a phone call Sunday evening. I'm hoping she'll actually give me copies of the genealogy info she has like she said she would, but I'll probably have to go 'visit' to get them. *grumble*

Sitting around talking with the family after dinner on Easter I learned that my cousin M (who is 4 months younger than me and has always lived at home) is going to be getting her own apartment soon. My aunt N was joking about cousin M hosting Christmas this year at her new apartment. I said, "Oh, no. If every year when I volunteered to have a holiday you guys wouldn't let me, then she can't have it either." I had offered before, but you know that dream where you're talking, but nobody can hear you? I'll be 25 this year, I have a decent sized place, and when my parents were my age they had 3 kids and had totally hosted holidays. I've felt like I should have a turn, but it's exactly like that dream. Plus I don't think my family remembers that I'm an adult. Anyway, my aunt N said, "When did you say that?" I said, "For three years." The she says, "Well, you're having Christmas this year. It's yours." Then my grandmother leans in, from out of the blue, and says "What about a ham? I can bring that." O-freaking-K. I win. Even though at first I though "what did I just do?" Now I'm pretty stoked, but at least I don't have to worry about it for at least seven months.

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

10 things I like and 10 I don't

Okay, I was reading MissE's Blog and she did this Post where she listed 10 things she liked and 10 she didn't using a single letter. Well, I asked and got myself a letter. So here it is, brought to you by the letter "P".

The Likes:
1. Pizza - duh. I think this is pretty much a given for everybody. I realize there may be somebody out there who'll argue me down about this, but how can you? Crust, sauce, toppings. There have to be a bzillion different ways to make pizza, and at least one for everyone.
2. Pachyderms - specifically elephants. Lead by the memory of their matriarchs, the African elephants travel for miles to find waterholes during the dry season. (I learned that from watching "Planet Earth" on Discovery, it's a prety good show.) They're intelligent and they have feelings.
3. Pac Man - and all the old school video games. Super Mario Bros, Zelda, Galaga, Bubble Bobble, Castlevania, Sonic the Hedgehog. I realize that there are newer versions of these games, or you can get them for new systems, but sometimes I crave the ancient systems and crappy graphics of my youth! Dammit.
4. Painting - I might not be terribly good at it (Hey colonel E, we should take a class like we were talking about), but I enjoy it. My medium of choice right now is acrylics because they dry fast and I like to do a lot of work in one sitting. Also I feel that they're less complicated than oil or water colours. Now my grandmother did some good paintings. I'll put pics on my flickr later.
5. Prose - like reading it, like writing it.
6. Paleontology - always something new being discovered, and challenging what scientists have already put down as the truth (I love it when they get all stirred up, it's hilarious). I just read recently that they discovered a T-rex bone at a dig that still had some spongy (not completely fossilized) material inside it, and they think they've identified actual blood cells in it. Jurassic Park here we come. Plus aren't dinosaurs the coolest?
7. Pirates! - Jeez, I almost forgot them.
8. Passages, secret - How cool would it be to have a house that had secret passages? The coolest evAR, that's how cool it would be. Also, should I own a house riddled with secret passages it should also have a portcullis. Maybe I could have some pirates running around too.
9. Pratchett, Terry - His Discworld series includes some of favorite books.
10. "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven. A rather infectious tune. I dare you to listen and not engage in a little foot tapping or head nodding.
11. Prime numbers.

Dislikes:
1. Pageants - Do I even have to say anything?
2. Paper Mache - Did you ever have to do this in elementary school? I did. You dipped strips of newspaper in cold, slimy goop and were supposed to make something out of it. Your attempts always resulted in something so deformed that not even it's mother would have loved it.
3. Paparazzi - They, and the people who buy their pictures, and the people who over-obsess about the lives of celebrities need to get a life.
4. Paris Hilton - proving to the world that you can never be too rich to be white trash.
5. Pot, the smell of - in case I've neglected to mention, I have kind of a sensitive sense of smell. A mere whiff of the smoke will cause a head ache to set in. (So on top of getting bashed in the face by flailing limbs of crowd surfers, I already had a headache from the stoners lighting up in front of us at the concert Monday). So obviously I've not one of the cool kids who enjoy the herbal adventure.
6. Puking - Boy, do I hate throwing up.
7. Plaque and the gum disease gingivitis - Thanks guys for making us have to floss. We sure do love flossing, can't get enough of it. And there's mouthwash too, mmm tasty. Thank you very much.
8. Poison ivy, poison oak, poison sumac - I've had at least 2 out 3 (stupid pediatricians who can't tell the difference). It itches, and if you're unlucky you'll have to take crazy steroids to get rid of it which will make life interesting with side effects for a week. Also if you're double unlucky you might get really noticeable scars that took years to fade even though you NEVER SCRATCHED IT ONCE! Sometimes your parents and doctors lie to you.
9. Pretentious cocksuckers. People who presume a degree of familiarity that is not present. The people who invade my life who would lose on "Are you smarter than a Protozoan?" Pompous asses.
10. Pee on toilet seats - eeewwwwwwwah.

So...if you want to do this too, let me know and I'll pick you a letter. ;)

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Adventures in Jackassery

A couple weeks ago I was listening to the radio and heard a advertisement for a concert in which two of my favorite bands (Finger Eleven and Strata) would be playing. A couple years ago they were on tour together and I saw them both times they were in Toledo that year. I was pretty stoked that they were going to be in town again, so my esteemed colleague, Colonel Eggroll, and I got ourselves some tickets. Oh and Chevelle was headlining.

The concert was last night. The experience was...interesting?...blogworthy? First, once we got inside everyone was standing around in the lobby in a sort of psuedo-line. We walked around them and went up front to the doors to wait. You've heard the phrase "the crowd got ugly" right? Well this crowd started out ugly, and I don't just mean figuratively. We were definitely the prettiest. I don't mean to be cruel, but these people were mutants. After they opened the doors we sedately walked amidst the charge and still got spots three and a half people back form the stage.

Behind us on the right were a handful of short, chunky frat-type dudes. One of them began telling this crazy story about some guy chasing him with a knife. "And then I was running, but everybody was locking their doors and rolling up their car windows man." I think it was the same one of the group who fiddled with one of my ponytails and said "nice tails dude". (I have short hair and I can't pull it back into just one ponytail, so I wear two right now, okay?) In front of them was a short couple with two little kids. Who brings eight-year-olds to a rock concert? In front of us were some people smoking pot. And they weren't even being discreet. The lights were still on and everything. On my left we had the two random drunk/stoned girls who showed up with an armload of beers. Nobody knew them, they just showed up. I was weighing the odds that they were actually old enough to drink. The one says, "the last time these guys were in town they played at Savage hall." I said, "Actually, they played two shows that year, the second one was here at Headliners." This was too much information for her, so she ignored me. "So after the show we, like, went to the bar. And, like, the guy from Finger Eleven was there and my ex-boyfriend, like had some weed, so we were like, do you wanna smoke with us, and they were like yeah. So we went back to the tour bus and like, hung out with them and Strata, and like, the lead singer of Trapt. So this time I called my ex-boyfriend because he's the father of my child, and he was like you only met them because of my chronic..." I was silently wishing I knew how to do a Vulcan nerve pinch so I could put her out of my misery. Things were not boding well.

Strata was opening, and they started their set late. Which, barring a technical problem, is kind of annoying. So anyway, the finally came out and started. And...okay, before there were these four guys playing pretty decent music. Decent jeans and t-shirts type dudes. Their lead singer had good stage presence and was cracking jokes with the crowd. They had a sound and talent, and they might not have been the best things since sliced bread, but I liked them.

Well, something happened.

We're talking that side swept, too-long in the front, bangs in the face hair going on. The lead singer had this Charlie-from-Lost-on-a-fatal-overdose-of-emo look. Diva pants, which is not a good look on guys, hand pressed against the sky while singing. Uck, pretentious, effeminate, nancing about. And all their new material was all emo BS that sounded like all that other crap out there. Of course, they didn't play any of their old material. The guy even said "we won't apologize for our music not being heavy" So obviously you're aware of the change in style, but you don't care what your fans think?

So, they sold out. Shit.

Then Finger Eleven came on. They put on a really good show. It would have been perfect except behind us some teabags decided to start picking people up and tossing them onto the crowd. I don't know about you, but I got to a concert for the show not to have random limbs of strangers hitting me in the face. I got smacked in the nose, twice! Thankfully, I wasn't hit hard enough to break it, but even today it's still pretty tender. After the second time I got hit we decided to retreat away from the stage. Not to mention the drunk/stoned girls started jumping up and down while holding lit cigarettes. On our way back some douche landed practically on top of Julia. We watched the rest of the show from a slightly safer distance.

Chevelle came on last, I like a couple of their singles, but the rest of their stuff all runs together of me. I don't care, I'm not that old, I like some of the heavier music, but the bass was way too loud. The loose fabric of our clothes was vibrating. Also we saw some guy grab some chick's butt (she was not happy) right before I overheard this charming tidbit, "Dude, I need to get some, but I want to fuck a whore right now!". Even back where we were things were getting ramped up. We only stayed for three songs of their set before we decided that we'd had enough.

All in all, it was not the greatest concert experience of my life. The vibe in that crowd was not pleasant, the kind of group that's one thrown missile away from being a mob. I don't know if it's the people in Toledo, Chevelle fans, just the crowd that the venue, Headliners, seems to attract, or some combination there of. Last time we were at Headliners things got a a little rowdy too, but nothing on this. On the drive back we pretty much decided to avoid any future events there.

I think it's somewhat disturbing that people go to these things with the intention of doing violence to other people. It's dark, and there's a crowd, so I guess that they usually get away with it. The word "moshing" is used to dress up what is essentially a brawl. Shoving, punching, and just throwing each other to the ground. Julia said, "Maybe I'm just getting old but..." I don't think it's that we're getting too old for it to be cool. I've never found being attacked by strangers to be terribly cool. ;)

[I apologize if this is a bit rambling or doesn't make sense. Chalk it up to longer work days and a need for sleep right now.]

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Random Observations and Questions

  • Tuesday it was 82 degrees with beautiful clear skies. Yesterday and today it has been snowing. Ah, you have to love spring (and weather in general) in Ohio.
  • Who died and made Oprah queen advice giver on everything? Oprah says this will help you sleep. Oprah says that's a good book. Oprah says blargedeeblargleblah. Also, Dr. Phil, same thing. And why do people take weight loss advice from him, a man who looks like a walrus invaded his ancestry?
  • What is the proper protocol for when the maintenance guy shows up at your apartment? Should you make small talk? Is it rude if I just carry on with what I'm doing and let them get their job done?
  • You ever notice how, while you're running around town, you come up with all kinds of things to blog about, but as soon as you sit down and open up this page you can't think of a damn thing?
  • You know what's gross? People who leave their bags of trash outside their door in the hallway of an apartment building, for days. If you went through the bother of rounding up your garbage and actually moved it out your door it stands to reason that you might as well follow through and take it to the dumpster.
  • The word 'potato' should be pronounced as it is spelled, beginning with a 'p' and ending with a long 'o'. Puh-tay-tuh and buh-tay-tah are not acceptable. Those people who are doing it incorrectly should take note and STOP IT! Incidentally I just learned that potatoes are a member of the nightshade family.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Promoted!

That's right, I've joined the dark side (you know management). Monday I start my managemental training. My 'interview' today went something like this:

Boss: You're interested?
Me: Sure.
Boss: Ok, cool.

Oh, and I'll get health insurance too, woot. I'll have to start working 50 hours a week. I realize that's not as grueling as a lot of other people's schedules, but I'm doing about 35 right now, and that has definately spoiled me. And, of course, more money. The real reason, a 30% increase in pay. Don't get excited, I don't make that much to start with. This is exciting because I'll be able to pay stuff off much sooner, but I think the extra from that first check is going to sponser a little shopping trip.

Cuz, you know, I need new clothes.

P.S. A New Story is up and new comic strips starting here.

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