The Verizon Kiosk is Full of Douchebags

About a week and a half ago my roommate asked me if I wanted to come with when he went to pick out a new phone. I agreed, and thought I might ask them about prices on a memory card for my phone seeing as how I find myself using it to take pictures often. We arrived at the kiosk in the sMall. Steve was talking to one of the guys about getting a new phone. I asked a differet guy how much a memory card would cost. Immediately I had both of them spewing details of a "music package" (memory card plus USB cable and software) at me. This irritated me beause I'm not one to be cowed into buying something just because two or three sales reps are shouting it's praises in my face. I said I would think about it. They turned away with much bad natured "limited time" "when they're gone they're gone" "cheaper than buying them separate" grumbling.



My roommate finished buying his new phone, chosen on the "it's shiny" merits (not kidding). I then cornered one of the guys and began asking more questions about this alleged deal. I even said I didn't care for all of them talking to me at once because I felt it needed to be said. I then asked price, size of the memory card, what else is included, etc. all the information I needed to make an informed decision as to whether or not I wanted to make this purchase. I decided I did because it included both a 2 gb memory card and a USB cable (so I could load music into my phone [mostly for my own ringtone amusement, I have an ipod and a rca mp3 player, thank you]). And the package was cheaper than the memory card alone. Okay, I said.



The guy fetches out the box with the crap I want to buy in it. The outer box show a picture of an LG chocolate phone and says "LG Chocolate" on it. I do not have this particular phone. So, being a bright egg, I said, "This says 'Chocolate' on it. That is not the phone I have. Will this work for my phone?" I hold up my phone for him to see. "Oh, yeah," he says in a most condescending manner. How dare I question the ways of the Verizon Kiosk Gurus? Now if I were the brightest egg in the bunch I would have opened the box and ascertained the truth of this claim right then and there, but I didn't. It didn't occur to me at the time. I just paid for my crap and we left.



It was several days before I had the chance to pull all the crap out of the box and start messing around with it. As soon as I pulled the USB cable out of the packaging I noticed it was not the right shape. Why? Because it's not compatible with my phone. Holy shit, that little fucker lied right to my face! I thought. I was suddenly infused with a righteous anger. I hate being lied to, I hate even more being lied to blatantly, right to my face, and most of all I hate being lied to in order that I might buy something. I felt the need to smite the hell out of them, rain fire down on their phoney island of kiosktopia, to make scathing phone calls to people's bosses. I was pretty pissed off.

It was several more days before I was able to go to the sMall to make the return. By that time I had calmed down. I began explaining the situation to one of the guys there (the manager in fact, I think). I wanted a memory card, they said they had a package with the card and the USB cable, music software etc., I said will this work for my phone, they said yes, it doesn't work for my phone, I don't want this then. The guy said, "Well, the memory card will work." I told him I realized that, but the rest of it wouldn't, so I didn't want stuff I couldn't use. He tried something about how this was cheaper than even the memory card by itself. I told him that was fine, I was more than willing to go elsewhere at this point for it, even it meant pay more.

In the middle of this, one of the other dudes ambushes our coversation with "But that has the headphones with built in mic." Said in an antagonistic manner. I was shocked and annoyed by this interruption, so much so that I looked right at him and said, "I don't care." It was if I had slapped him in the face. I have discovered the magic words for dealing with sales people. He sputtered and acutally said, "You don't say 'I don't care' to me when I'm trying to tell you... *grumble, grumble*" as he turned back to a more pliant customer.

First of all, don't try to fucking re-sell me something that I've brought back to you because it's the WRONG FUCKING PART. I don't care if it has orgasm inducing ringtones and cures cancer. It will not work with my phone, it does me no good. Second, don't interrupt me or the guy who is already helping me, nobody fucking asked you. I don't know where this ganging up on the customer thing comes from, it happened to me both times I was there. I've never had this problem at other Verizon locations. Third, do not mock me and argue with me! If I heard one of my employees say anything like this to a customer you can rest assured that I would fire the hell out of them. Where the fuck did this guy learn to deal with customers, or better yet, where on the gods's green earth is his common sense?

I decided not to make a scene. I took a breath, and said, "Well, I really don't." Then proceded to ignore his existance. The manager guy was very quiet after that. He told me that they had the music package and the memory card for my particular phone, but that they were sold separately and it would cost about thirty dollars more. I asked if I could get them for the same price, but of course that wasn't an option. I told him to just give me my money back then, which he did promptly and with no fuss.

I was still fuming when I left over that prick bitching at me. I was so ridiculously mad. I seriously considered making a complaint, but I think having had to take plenty of customer complaints at work has kind of put a damper on my appetite for dishing it out. Instead I calmed myself down and put it all in perspective. Just let it go, life moves on. It would be nice to think that dude's boss reamed him out after I left. I thought maybe I should have called that idiot out and engaged in a verbal battle, buy why, what point would that prove? And besides, who needs that stress.