I have been violated

Yesterday our summer visiting manager saw how I had my shift set up, and what I had her doing for it. She comes running up to me.

Excited: Oh. My. God. You have no idea how excited I am by this!!!!! I'm going to give you a hug!! I know you don't like touching, but I'm gonna anyway!!!

Me: WhaaaNO...

*Bone crushing awkwardness ensued*

Let's break it down and begin with the "no touching". On a previous occasion I had told Captain Excited that I didn't like being touched. This isn't exactly true. I do not have a problem with physical contact with other humans beings. I'm all for it given the right circumstances and the right people. Sometimes I just have to tell people this because they are abusing their touching privileges.

Next, proper hugging etiquette. When embracing a person whom you are not on intimate or even say familiar terms with there are a couple of acceptable hugs. You can do the side arm hug: arm thrown around their shoulders, couple of seconds, good to go. You can do the lean in hug, minimal contact, a bit of back patting is acceptable.

Here's what went down: Crazy McExcitedPants threw her arms around my neck and proceeded to crush my vertebrae in a full body, full contact hug. It went into overtime; can I get a ref to call a foul for non regulation length hugging? Way too much of her was pressed against way too much of me. I locked up. I couldn't think. The only way it could have been anymore awkward is if she had tried to wrap a leg around me too. One step below absolute awkwardness. Afterwards she bounced away to go terrorize others and I had a good shudder.