Don't Step in the Shappu

I don't like shopping at Wal-mart, or as I like to call it, Evil-mart. Sometimes I find myself doing it anyway. Sometimes I don't feel like driving all the way across town to another store (do you save enough gas over a four mile round trip to offset the badness of buying their crap?). Or like that time a couple weeks ago when Julia and I were shuffling about evil-mart, her drugged out from having her teeth pulled, me with mild to moderate sleep depravation. I think I really needed to get shampoo, and she just wanted to get out of the house.

Anyway. We were making out way towards the registers, mmm, my favorite part of shopping at walmart. On an endcap I spotted a display of knives. It looked lilke one of those super knife sets they have on the infomercials. They always take the knives and cut through a shoe or a pvc pipe, or saw on some granite and then cut a tomato to show that it's "still sharp". As someone who has trouble falling asleep I know these sorts of things. So there were these knives, but the box looked really thin. I decided to investigate (needed sleep remember?).

I discovered that they were selling the "Shappu 2000 (tm) Stainless Steel 10 pc Professional Cutlery Set" that Never Needs Sharpening. Made from Japanese stainless steel with a lifetime guarantee for A. Dollar. Ninety. Four.

I bought them.

"Superior quality stainless steel knives makes cutting easier than you can expect. The scientific-mechanical cast cutting edges are so fine and sharp that can create various incredible cutting capabilities. Different blade designs to satisfy all your needs in the kitchen - they slice, carve, rip, tear, saw... and much much more."

It includes a 'Set of 6 Steak Knives', the 'Shappu Parer', the 'Shappu Cleaver', a 'Shappu Fillet' and of course the 'Shappu Utility'.

The best were the captions on the pictures. "Perfect for carve ribs and meats" "Slice nicely on soft, crispy or crumble breadstuffs" "Steak knife suits casual or formal dines" "Saw through aluminum or PVC pipes" and "Rip through tough leather and rubber" with a picture of one of the knives halfway through a tennis shoe. So we have Engrish and super knife cliches. Why do they always do the shoe thing? Who the hell is it that needs to grab a kitchen knife to slice their sneakers in half? And pipes? Hah. Maybe if you were trapped by zombies in your kitchen and there was a hole in the wall you could escape through, but it was blocked by pipes and you had your trusty Shappu handy, then just maybe this would be applicable.

The knives came taped into a flimsy plastic tray, and aren't even straight. Awesome. This was totally worth the 1.94.

I did put the Shappu to the test. They're surprisingly sharp (although they edges don't feel that keen, must be that serration). The Shappu suffer from an excess of flimsiness, guess that's why they're guarunteed to not need sharpened, not to not break. I found you can cut through a plastic water bottle or cardboard. I didn't have any extra shoes to sacrifice for this experiment though, so I guess that will have to remain a mystery until another day